The battle within

I had to pen this down before I went to sleep. The thought that I had to write this blog entry gave me the motivation to drive back home from office.

Today was an emotionally draining day at work. I had extreme mood swings at office. I was excited when I reached office. I thought I had something to look forward to. By the time the day ended, all my expectations had once again disappeared into thin air. Every passing day at office is making my life miserable. I feel like a rudderless boat who doesn't know which way to head. I can feel a big vacuum inside me. For the last one year I have been used as a shuttle and been thrown around without any purpose. People who joined the organization way after I joined have been able to figure out their role. But even after over an year, I am not sure what is expected out of me. I have convinced myself to give one last honest shot towards redeeming myself . This might just be the last throw of dice for me. An unfavourable spin will force me to move on in search of some other opportunity, one that will provide me with an even playing field vis-a-vis others.