When Swine Flew

You need to be in Pune to understand well all that I am about to write. Serious enough as the Swine Flu is, the panic among common people has assumed monstrous proportions in Pune. Its complete mayhem out here. Multiplexes, theatres, malls and schools are getting closed faster than I Banks during peak recession times. People are glued to TV sets. Swine Flu is definitely the in thing - The box office ruler - as the Saas Bahu viewership takes a tailspin. Its the new reality show in the block. And the N95 mask is definitely the one playing the lead role - The Dev Anand. People are going crazy for N95. A tenner for every single person you find in Pune who hasnt heard of N95. And just like Dev saab, the copy cats and look alikes of N95 can be found everywhere. Just yesterday I went to my neighbourhood Kirana shop and found a single person buying 15 N95 alook alikes. I always thought Kirana shops kepts things of daily use. May be the daily use stuff a week back were different from what they are right now. And whats more, the duplicates are being sold at a premium too (275 bucks per pc. when during good ol' days the real thing used to cost 50 bucks). What the heck - The N95 never made a difference as per WHO, so might as well sell a look alike - make hay while Swine Flies. Keeping up with the trend, Pudumjee Paper Mills has launched it Swine Flu line of accessories - The Swine Sanitizer, the Flu Napkins, and other designer products, as they set out redefining the FMCG market. PP's stock tip - Invest in Pudumjee shares - Be a millionare by the time the Pigs get grounded. A real money spinner and a must do for people pained by a certain Ramalinga Raju.

Speaking of Swine Flu, I have made sure that I am not to be left too far behind. 2 bottles of Sanitizers, 1 bottle of Dettol, 30 Cetrizine tablets, 20 Crocins, 20 Avil tablets, 60 Ayurvedic tables and 6 bottles of Homeopathic medicines is what I have to boast of my Swine Flu collection. I am sure everyone has a stock pile of these fashionable accessories. And for those who dont - make it quick - grab a dozen crocins or two - that is if there is any of it left in the market. Else be damned to be out of fashion. Thats the way it is. Its a mean world and there is no place for late movers.